Embarassing Moments
by Sirens And Muses
Summary: A birthday fic for Tori. Because we love you, girl. What is the most embarassing, awkward moment in the history of ToS? Well, the summary sure as hell isn't going to tell you! Click the fic! You know you want to!
1. The REAL Slim Shady

**Siren: All of our fics are now on temporary hiatus.**

**Muse: Not for long, though. Don't worry, we haven't given up on anything.**

**Siren: The reason we wrote this was for our friend Tori. Her two favorite characters are Kratos and Yuan. So this fic is her birthday treat.**

**Muse: Yay! Happy birthday, Tori!**

**Siren: Review if you feel like it, don't if you...don't.**

**Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS or Eminem.**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!**

**Muse: By the way, let's pretend Eminem and radios actually exist in the ToS world.**

* * *

He picked up his hairbrush. He was all alone, no one was watching…he turned on the music.

_'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady_

He started to sing and dance aloud to it.

_All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating_

Man, how did Eminem get all those chicks?

_So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,_

Maybe he should dye his hair blonde. Would she think that was sexy?

_Please stand up, please stand up?_

Or maybe a cape or something. He kicked his leg into the air, just as the door opened. He froze.

"Hey, Yuan, are you done with your shower yet?" Mithos asked, then stopped in his tracks.

Standing in the doorway were Martel, Mithos, and Kratos. For a second, they just stood there, staring at the sight of Yuan in his boxer shorts, rapping into his hairbrush. Suddenly, Mithos cracked up laughing, Martel blushed furiously red and turned away, and Kratos covered his face with his hand.

"Those are…lovely underwear, Yuan," Kratos commented. Mithos howled with laughter. Yuan's face went bright red as he quickly yanked on his pants.

"I-I was just-just, you know, fooling around," he muttered.

"Yuan, you don't _like_ Eminem, do you?" Martel asked, still facing away. "I mean, he's really obnoxious."

"Of-of course not, Martel!" Yuan said hastily. "I was just goofing around."

"Right..." Mithos muttered.

* * *

"Did that really happen, Kratos?" Lloyd asked skeptically. Kratos nodded.

"Every word of it," he answered.

"Man," Sheena said, laughing. "Are you sure this is the same Yuan we're talking about here?"

"Who is this 'Eminem'?" Presea asked, slightly confused.

"Wow," was all Genis could manage through his wild giggles.

Lloyd grinned. "Oh, this is going to be fun the next time I see him."

* * *

**Siren: Dumb, right? Ignore this if you want, but you know you want to review!**

**Muse: Even if its just to say how dumb this is.**


	2. Remember The Towel Next Time!

**Siren: (yawn) Story time...it's so much easier to write these really short humor fics in math class than to do the actual work.**

**Muse: You're such a dedicated student.**

**Siren: You were right beside me, writing with me!**

**Muse: Yes, but I'm dumb. People expect me to fail pre-calc. Your GPA is 3.8.**

**Siren: And yet, I still write fanfic in math class...and history...and chem...and English...and-**

**Muse: We get it already! ****Disclaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own ToS. It belongs to Namco, who really need to make a better sequel. Really, Marta and Emil can't be together. Emil is clearly gay!**

**Siren: That's not nice.**

**Muse: (falls asleep)**

**Siren: Good idea. (falls asleep)**

* * *

"I like it."

"Yeah, I think it really adds to the décor."

"Think we should tell him?"

"Naw, he'll figure it out sooner or later. After all, he can't spend all day bathing in that lake."

"Think he'll be mad?"

"Now, Mithos, have you ever known Kratos to be mad?"

"Yes."

"Exactly. Let's get a head start."

Yuan and Mithos started to search for a hiding place, but not before they ran smack into Martel.

"What are you two up to?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," they said in unison. She narrowed her eyes.

"I don't know what stupid thing you're doing now, but-are those Kratos' clothes?"

"Maybe," Yuan said.

"And did you dye them pink?"

"That's a very likely possibility," Mithos answered.

She squinted up at the top of the tree, where Kratos' previously white clothes were tied, clearly no longer white. They now had a distinct pink tint to them.

"Why in the hell would you do that?" she asked calmly, as if her little brother and fiancé hadn't just pulled such a juvenile prank.

"Well," Yuan said, "Kratos decided last night that I needed a dead rabbit stuffed in my sleeping bag. This is my way of getting back."

"And Mithos?" Martel said, turning to the younger boy.

He shrugged. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

Suddenly, there came a loud yell from the lake. "When I find you two, I am going to murder you!" Yuan and Mithos both broke out into laughter and turned to run. Martel grabbed the back of their shirts.

"Get back here and give him his clothes back. Clean, un-dyed clothes."

"Uh, we kind of dyed them all." Mithos glanced around, half-expecting to see Kratos burst out of the bushes and kill them all.

Martel went bug-eyed. "_All_ his clothes?"

"Yeah, but we were nice," Yuan said, a grin playing on his face. "The dye washes out."

Martel stared at them. "That's…not like you. What else did you do to him?"

"You can't hide from me forever!" Kratos screamed. They other two laughed.

"We left him underwear," Yuan said. "Just not his."

"Hey, Kratos!" Mithos yelled. "You have to come out to get the rest of your clothes!"

"I think I will." Kratos marched out, a towel around his waist. Yuan and Mithos both fell completely silent.

"I knew we forgot something," Yuan stated.

"Oops," Mithos whispered.

Kratos grabbed Yuan by his hair before he could get away. Next thing he knew, Yuan had a yellow, lacey pair of thong underwear looped around his neck. "Good joke, guys. Very funny."

* * *

"Okay," Lloyd said. "I seriously don't buy this one."

"Believe it," Yuan answered. "Every word of it is true."

"Where did you guys find the time to save the world, between rapping into your hairbrush and wearing girls' underwear?" Zelos asked. "And by the way, whose underwear did you use?"

Yuan was spared the trouble of answering as Kratos walked into the room. Lloyd and Colette immediately burst into stifled giggles, whereas Zelos went into full-out wild laughter. He looked around suspiciously.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," Yuan said. "Just…telling a story."


	3. The Importance Of Locked Doors

**Muse: Good afternoon, loyal fans!**

**Siren: ...**

**Muse: Okay, going on, we are going to try to update our other fics today or tomorrow, if we can. Don't kill us if we can't.**

**Siren: ...**

**Muse: Siren also lost a bet. She bet me that we wouldn't be able to update any fics for at least a month.**

**Siren: ...**

**Muse: Now she can't talk, no matter what I say. For example, if I were to call her a beanpole...**

**Siren: ...(flips off)**

**Muse: That's rude, Beanpole.**

**Siren: ...(stabs with random violin bow)**

**Muse: You're so sweet. Moving on!**

**(poof) Yuan: Oh, hell. I'm back here?**

**Muse: Yuan! Please say the disclaimer!**

**Yuan: (sigh) Jesus, fine, just make sure _she_ doesn't rape me. Again.**

**Siren: ...**

**Yuan: Discaimer: Sirens & Muses do not own any of the following characters or their likeness. (poof)**

**Siren: ...(motions for readers to review)**

**Muse: What would that hand motion look like?**

* * *

"You're hands are like ice!" Martel said.

Yuan grinned and slid his hands further down her back. "Really? Didn't you say a few days ago that my hands made you feel good?"

"They do," she answered, pressing her lips to his collarbone. "They're just really cold."

"Hmm, what if I said your lips were really cold?" he asked playfully, pulling her on top of him.

"Then I'd stop and we'd have to go through all the trouble of getting redressed," she said, now gently biting his ear.

"Oh. Then, in that case, your lips are really warm, Martel," he replied as he started kissing her neck and running his fingers through her long hair.

The door suddenly flung open. "Hey, sis, Kratos and I are-What the hell are you doing to my sister?!"

Martel shrieked and yanked the covers over them, disentangling herself from her boyfriend. Yuan was knocked off the bed as he rolled away.

"Mithos, ask them if they need anything from the-" Kratos entered seconds behind Mithos before covering his face with his hand and leaving again. "Never mind, ask them later."

The blonde teen stood frozen, his eyes narrowed as Martel's face went red and she pointed towards the door. "Get out, Mithos!"

Mithos didn't respond. Instead a magic circle appeared beneath him. "Ray!"

"Shi-!" Yuan was struck with beams of light.

"Mithos, out!" Martel screamed. Yuan groaned, which made Mithos smile smugly as he left.

"_Never_ go near my sister again."

* * *

"So, what I've learned from these stories," Raine said as Kratos finished, "is that the heroes of the Kharlan War were essentially just four immature schoolchildren. Is that right?"

"I don't know, Raine," Sheena said. "Yuan and Martel didn't seem so childish in this story."

"You know, I'm starting to feel for Mithos," Zelos said, his eyes closed. "I'd probably go insane, too, if I saw Yuan-ugh, don't make me think about it."

"But I don't understand," Colette said. "Why was Mithos so mad, Kratos?"


	4. Kratos' Dark Secret

**Siren: So, how about we neglected this fic for...seven months.**

**Muse: No big deal.**

**Siren: Anyway, this randomly popped into our heads after we watched the OVA for Tales of Symphonia again.  
**

**Muse:**** We found the only scene with Noishe in it! It's at the beginning, when the right before Lloyd leaves to stalk-I mean, boldly follow Colette.**

**Siren: And let me tell you, Anime Kratos is much sexier than Game Kratos. Dumb Nintendo graphics.**

**Muse: Disclaimer! Sirens & Muses don't own ToS!**

**Siren: Too lazy to poof, huh? Yeah, so review please!  
**

* * *

"Hah!"

"Hiya!"

"Ugh!"

"Ha! Take that!"

From the town, Kratos and Yuan were just two blurs in the forest. But up close, it was like watching two lions fight. Perfectly timed and accurate, their training, from a distance, looked more like two shadows dancing. Even though the blows were perfect, the rarely hit their mark. The two were ducking and dodging, making a clear winner of the battle indeterminable.

They weren't even using their weapons.

Occasionally, though, a fist would strike the other's face. Yuan already had a black eye and a split lip. Kratos, although it wasn't visible, had a large bruise spreading across his stomach from where his opponent had kicked him. And now, he was aiming another punch at Yuan's jaw.

At the last second, Yuan spun and dodged it, instead grabbing his wrist. Bending Kratos' arm at the elbow and using a great amount of strength, he managed to flip the redhead over and make him end up sprawled on his back. Unfortunately, his back wasn't all he sprawled on.

There was a loud crunch as he landed, making both men's eyes go wide with shock. They stood in silence for a few seconds, before Yuan finally spoke.

"Uh…training's over, I guess. Do you-do you want some help getting to the inn?"

"That would be nice, Yuan," Kratos growled. He stood, picking the broken object up from the dirt.

When they arrived at the door, Martel let out a gasp. "What happened to you?"

"We were training," Yuan said.

"Kratos, are you going to be okay?" Mithos asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, don't worry about _me_," Yuan said. The boy ignored him.

"Yuan," Martel reprimanded. "Your face will heal. Right now, Kratos' problem is more important."

"I'll be fine," Kratos said dismissively. "It's nothing I can't fix." He retreated upstairs.

"Man," Mithos snickered. "He must've hit you pretty hard to give you that shiner."

"Shut up, brat," Yuan said angrily.

The next morning, Kratos reluctantly descended the staircase to meet his companions. He was in no rush to show his face to them, or to the public, for that matter. But they were almost flat broke, and fugitives to boot. It wasn't as if he could just go out and buy what he needed on a whim. No, he would have to make due with what he had.

He sighed as he stepped into their view. He'd been planning to ask if he really looked that silly, but the look on their faces confirmed his answer.

Yuan and Mithos both covered their mouths, trying with all their might not to burst out laughing at the mercenary. Martel shushed them both and said, "You look, um, good, Kratos!"

"You look like a nerd!" Mithos exclaimed, dissolving into laughter.

"It's true, Kratos," Yuan said. "If this were a playground, I'd have an undeniable urge to beat the snot out of you and give you a wedgie."

Kratos angrily slid his glasses up his nose. One lens was cracked along the edge and, most prominently, the bridge had been wound together with a wad of tape.

"Shut up," he snapped at Yuan. "You're the reason they're broken, anyway!"

"If you wouldn't wear them when we train-" Yuan began.

"How am I supposed to train if I can't see?" Kratos cut in.

"Quiet, both of you!" Martel said. "Kratos, as soon as we get the chance, we'll buy you some new glasses, so you don't look quite as, um, strange."

"Geek!" Mithos yelled.

"Dork," Yuan said.

"Freak."

"Dweeb."

"Uh…" As they walked, Mithos struggled to come up with a word to top Yuan's. "Egghead."

"Doesn't count. Eggheads are smart."

Kratos grabbed Yuan by his ponytail. "Are you implying that I'm stupid?"

"Hey, you know what?" Yuan quickly plucked the broken glasses off of his friends face. "I think we should play keep-away from Four Eyes!" He tossed them to Mithos.

"Give them back, or so help me, I'll break your spine," Kratos growled. Yuan was undeterred.

"Oh, please," he scoffed. "You're blind without them, I'm shocked you can even tell it's me you're talking to."

"My eyes aren't so bad," Kratos insisted.

"Prove it," Yuan challenged.

The redhead smirked. "Okay, you asked." He pulled back his fist.

"Oh, hey, wait!" There was a loud smack, followed by a groan.

"There you go, Yuan," Mithos laughed. "Now your eyes match! You're a beat-up dweeb, too, just like Kratos!"

* * *

"You used to wear glasses?" Lloyd gaped. "No way!"

"My eyesight improved immensely when I became an angel," Kratos said, glaring at Yuan. "And I don't appreciate it when people bring up times when I was…less than happy with my appearance."

"You started it," Yuan told him.

"I understand your pain, Kratos," Zelos chuckled. "I beat up many a geek in my time at school, so I know what you had to endure. Well, not personally, but you know what I mean."

"I find it hard to imagine," Genis said, grinning. "Kratos as a dork…"


End file.
